Monday, December 19, 2005

Armageddon PPV

I'm in somewhat of a funk right now, in mourning, just typing away mindlessly here at work. For giggles I analyzed the reports from the latest WWE pay-per-view and provided a list of what happened and what I think should have happened. I didn't order the pay-per-view; $20-$40 seems like an awful lot to spend on something that really isn't top-notch quality anymore.

JBL vs. Matt Hardy

What happened: JBL quickly squashed Hardy.

What should have happened: It doesn't really matter, neither has an interesting future right now.

MNM vs. Psicosis and Super Crazy

What happened: MNM won.

What should have happened: MNM lost the titles on Friday and Melina supposedly "warmed up" Batista before that match. They should have had the team come out of fewer than half the paparazzi usual part of their entrance, had them eventually lose the match even with Melina's interference and cheating, then have all three sulk back with little fanfare. This sets up multiple lines post and during pap-per-view.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

What happened: Benoit won his first to pull 3-1 in the best of seven for the US title in a "best match ever between these two".

What should have happened: Exactly that.

Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal and Paul Birchill

What happened: Lashley quickly won.

What should have happened: Young stars and an old veteran; nothing interesting to promote at this time.

Juventud vs. Kid Kash -- Cruiserweight Title

What happened: Kash gets a clean win.

What should have happened: Don't care.

Kane & Big Show vs. Batista & Rey Mysterio

What happened: Kane choke-slams Rey for the clean win.

What should have happened: Batista and Rey were fresh off the "Friday" win ofthe tag titles but Kane and Show were out for revenge from the previouspay-per-view. I would have put Kane and Show on the verge of a win only to have Melina (from MNM above) come out, fake assistance to Kane and Show but screw them over somehow to give the pin-fall to Batista. (This sets up her dumping MNM to leech onto Batista's fame, then assist with dumping him and the title when the next champion and more famous individual comes along, Randy Orton perhaps?).

Undertaker Vs. Randy Orton -- Hell in a Cell

What happened: Undertaker eventually wins.

What should have happened: The Undertaker formula is dated and needs a change; plus the guy should be retiring or at least diminishing sometime soon. I would have had the Orton's finally "kill off" the Undertaker - maybe not even bothering with the pin-fall; just put some magic dust and a cross on him then leave. The "body" would disappear and the pay-per-view would be over. Then, perhaps, have the Undertaker perform a Gandalf the Grey turning into a white-clad something (angel) that would gradually ascend through humility and shame to perhaps retake the title one last time before retirement (from Orton when he gets the title through Melina's treachery above). Title in hand, the white Undertaker would be called back to his true calling - "retiring" and leaving the title open (for a pay-per-view tournament showdown).

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